I only held you in my body for a few months, and in my hands for just a moment.
But I will hold you in my heart forever.
This isn’t the post I wanted to write. I should have been announcing you.
This isn’t the reality I wanted to live. I should be holding you.
When I took this photo, I was so excited to announce to everyone that you were coming. What I didn’t know, however, was that you would be coming much sooner than we thought. In fact, this was one of the last days that your sweet little heart would beat.
Sitting in the ER and hearing that you were gone was one of the worst moments of my life. I wasn’t expecting it. Yes, there had been some complications, but I was trying to have faith that things would be ok. That you would be ok.
I wasn’t ready for it.
My heart didn’t want to let you go. You were so wanted. You are still so loved.
My body didn’t want to let you go. You were meant to be right there. You were meant to be right here.
You
You were coming soon
I was over the moon
I couldn’t wait to swoon
And tickle those feet
A smell so sweet
To finally meet
You
Who were You?
Would You be courageous and true?
Fill the world with virtue?
Would Your eyes also be blue
like Your sister and Your mother?
Would You have been a little sister or a brother?
So many people waiting to pour out their love onto You
A conduit; for us to pour onto it
From our first embrace
we would envelop You in grace
as You blessed our space
But
now You are in a better place
Your face
I wish I could have seen it
Touched it
Kissed it
Known it
What would Your face look like when You laughed?
And cried?
And tried to crawl and run in the summer sun?
You would have had the best mom
An endless fountain of compassion,
pouring forth for all in her course
You
I know I’ll meet You one day
Just not today
Either in this place or the next
Just know that I will always love You
– Maxwell Weber
